In today’s episode, we delve into the nature of narcissists—whether they are born or made. A key characteristic of narcissism is a lack of empathy. To date, research hasn’t pinpointed an "empathy gene," suggesting that empathy is a learned behavior. This leads us to explore the idea that narcissists are shaped by their experiences rather than born with inherent traits.
Empathy, often seen as a response to trauma, can also be a learned coping strategy. Interestingly, being overly coddled can lead to a sense of helplessness in children, fostering beliefs of entitlement and special treatment without earning it. This overindulgence prevents them from learning resilience and self-reliance. Conversely, children who face neglect or abuse may feel unworthy and learn to overpower others to meet their needs, mimicking their abusers' behaviors.
Parents who fail to meet their children’s emotional needs, who are overly strict or inconsistently affectionate, can also contribute to the development of narcissistic traits. Narcissism and empathy might both be seen as defense mechanisms masking deep insecurities.
This discussion leads to an important reflection: are you more self-focused, potentially hurting others, or do you prioritize others’ needs at your own expense? The former may indicate narcissistic tendencies, while the latter suggests empathic or codependent traits. Interestingly, empaths and narcissists, both healing from deep wounds, often find themselves drawn together.
In summary, narcissists are not born but shaped through their upbringing and experiences, including overpraise, criticism, neglect, abuse, or lack of boundaries from parents. However, the presence of a loving, empathetic caregiver can steer a child away from narcissism toward more codependent behaviors.
Join us next week as we explore why we attract narcissists and how to start repelling them.
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